Update on Kaavya Viswanathan

Came across another interesting interview with our precious plagiarist, which you can find here. Only reasons why I find it amusing are that she seems to be a spoiled brat (a la Priya and Divya) and she seems like she already knew she plagiarized from other authors and was planning her defense:
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How do you plan to get wild with that grand book advance you bagged?
Kaavya: I did seriously entertain the idea of spending all my money on a bright red Maserati.

Is this inspired by Bridget Jones' Diary?
Kaavya: Not consciously. The books aren't similar, except for their categorisation as chick-lit.

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Also, I have a feeling she would have also answered this question like this....haha

"Are you going to be a one-book wonder?
Kaavya: I hope not. I plan to continue writing throughout my life so you'll definitely be seeing at least one more book from me....it will be about Da Vinci, and his code.

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I'll be writing some new shit soon, so keep checking back.

Holla

Speaking of "My Super Sweet 16"...

Unbelievable... had a friend send me this link from the NY Times regarding MTV's pathetic show "My Super Sweet 16". Noteworthy because they showcase an example of two bratty indian bitches... I'm sorry, its a harsh thing to say, but read the blurb below and you'll see why. Clearly, Dr. Kothapalli has mastered the art of parenting... god, what I wouldn't do to meet this cardiologist and slap the shit out of him.

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Still, Dr. Srinivasa Rao Kothapalli, a prominent cardiologist in Beaumont, Tex., is more than willing to relinquish his checkbook. His daughter Priya turned 16 earlier this month, and she is in the throes of planning a joint birthday-graduation party with her elder sister, Divya, 18. "If you can afford to have a grand celebration, then why not," said Dr. Kothapalli, who immigrated to the United States from India in the mid-1980's. "It's the American way. You work hard and you play hard."

Born with silver ladles in their mouths, his daughters have certainly mastered the latter. Their Bollywood-themed party for 500 guests will be held in the family's backyard, all 4½ acres, behind the 10,000-square-foot house. The Format, their favorite band, will perform. And they will make their grand entrance on litters, during an elaborate procession led by elephants. The sisters, who plan to perform a choreographed routine at their to-do next month, are also taking dance lessons, and they've enlisted the help of a trainer.

"We both want to lose three pounds," said Priya, who received a Mercedes convertible and an assortment of diamond jewelry for her birthday. Her sister's graduation gift package included a Bentley, diamonds and two homes in India.

"I was really surprised," Divya said, "because I was only expecting a Bentley and one house."

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If anyone should realize the importance of hard work and earning your dollar, it should be a cardiologist immigrant of Indian descent. I look at this example and I'm glad I didn't grow up spoiled- these girls are destined to be the snotty bitches you meet at a lounge who think they're too good for everyone and will only talk to you if you fit a certain material profile (i.e. doctor with a BMW and an AMEX black card).

Its so sad, but I actually grew up with a lot of these kids around me... prominent parents who spoiled the shit out of their kids. The result? Most of them are my age, but with no career path, no future, and only daddy's credit card keeping them afloat. They are laughingstocks of the community and more often than not, have nothing going for them. And the blame lies squarely on their parents. Of course, the parents are more concerned with making sure the community knows how much money they have, so they use their kids as a vehicle to display their bank account. To which I say, bravo. You're rich, we get it. Oh yeah, did you also know your kid has a drug problem, a police record, and a degree from the local community college? Bravo doc, bravo.

Another rant and rave session complete.

On a lighter not, a hilarious Punjabi vs. Gujurati, "Mortal Kombat" style video. Guaranteed to make you laugh.

Holla.

Back to the Real World

Well, it had to happen at some point, right? The little dream died. After spending the better part of last week relaxing and not catching too much shit at work, I started to prepare for my next stop on the whirlwind US tour, this past weekend to be spent in our nation's capital. Of course, fate has a funny way of using a rusty pipe against you in the worst possible way.

I got staffed at 4pm last Thursday afternoon... for a meeting scheduled for tomorrow, 4/25/06. What does this mean? Long story short, kiss the weekend goodbye and bury the hatchets- this storm is gonna be a bitch. After cancelling my trip to DC, I spent the better part of 8 hours on Saturday and 12 hours on Sunday in the office, and capped it off with a marathon 19-hour session last night- suffice to say, I'm not too happy right now.

Still found time to go out Friday and Saturday of course, but no interesting stories to really tell... except for the fact that I had to remain somewhat coherent due to my work schedule. In other words, I wasn't a blithering mess and people around me didn't need to protect their drinks from the wobbling idiot. I'm so mature, I know.

Also saw the Sentinel on Sunday night with Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, and Eva Longoria. Quite frankly, the movie tried to be like 24 (my all-time favorite TV show... if you don't watch this show, I pity you) and failed miserably. It was a good way to kill two hours, but nothing you haven't seen before. The only reason I bring this movie up is because of Eva Longoria. To be quite honest, I don't see what the hype is about. Yes, she's got a great body, but her face isn't all that. Yes, I already know what most of my high school and college buddies are thinking: "T.O.N." (pronounced TAWN). What does this stand for? "Taste of Nishant". See, once we all started talking about girls, about who was hot, who was not, etc., I quickly developed a reputation for having a very "eccentric" taste in girls- the girls everyone else thought was hot, I thought resembled a pig in heat, and every girl I thought was ridonkulous was, in the eyes of my friends, someone who would probably look better if she had a lazy eye and weighed a buck seventy-five. This is why I make the best wingman, since I have never thought the girls my friends went after were all that attractive and vice versa. So take my opinion for what it's worth. I stand by my claim that I wouldn't look twice at Ms. Longoria if she wasn't famous.

Another story of interest that some of you might of seen was of Kaavya Viswanathan, the Harvard sophomore who, at the age of 17, became the youngest writer that Little Brown & Company, one of the oldest and most prestigious American publishers, had taken on in its 109-year history. A two-book deal worth a staggering $500,000. Why is this newsworthy? Because it looks like our budding writer actually ripped off some of her text from another author. I only mention this because of her idiocy. Look, everyone cheats in school (no matter how minor) or copies answers or plagiarizes (side quote: "If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research." -Wilson Mizner) . Whatever your reasons are to do so, whether you have too much work, too much pressure, or are just plain too damn lazy, I'm sure everyone has tried to at least take basic steps to cover one's steps. And if you take a look at the examples she ripped off here, you realize even more how stupid this girl is. It's not like the sentences highlighted are difficult concepts to portray (and quite honestly, it's not like the stuff that was initially plagiarized was all that brilliantly written in the first place). The fact that she plagiarized so much of her book, something that she knew was going to be released to the public and heavily scrutinized, makes me wonder how much she may have plagiarized in the past when she figured she wouldn't be under that much scrutiny (liker her Harvard admissions essay, past term papers, etc.). In any case, watch this interview (right-click and save file to download it directly) with her where she mentions that she thinks a similarity between herself and the main character is that both of their parents drive Range Rovers- after watching how she comes off as a bit prissy, one can only make the connection that she is the smart Indian equivalent of the girls on "My Super Sweet 16."

I'm done ranting and raving. To end on a comedic note, enjoy the second coming of the Backstreet Boys, Shanghai version.

Holla.

Duke Lacrosse

Hilarious article from ESPN on how the demand for Duke Lacrosse gear has skyrocketed in the wake of the rape scandal. Is this considered normal behavior? If I was to see someone rocking out this merchandise, I'd probably get a laugh out of it I guess.

Death Cab for Cutie Tonight

Well, I strolled into the office this afternoon around lunch time for no good reason. Woke up around 9:30am, watched Blind Date, the Price is Right, an hour of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?", and then finally decided to shower up. Why is this possible? Because the one single pitch I'm on right now that was due on April 28 gets delayed. The client called us yesterday and lets us know they would be unavailable to meet, but would like to push the date back to May16th... meaning I have just gotten an additional two and a half weeks for a project that will likely take no more than a few days to crank out. Life is beautiful.

On a side note, after sending out the email yesterday afternoon announcing my foray into the blogging world, I received many, many emails. Most (actually all) ridiculed me, insulted me, and generally mocked my very existence. I did find this email to be one of the funnier ones (and admittedly quite accurate as well):
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From: sonia [mailto:xxxxxx@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 19, 2006 1:51 PM
To: absolutnb
Subject: RE: New Blog Addy

dude, you really need a girlfriend, not a blog.
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In any case, tonight should be a phenominal night. One of my favorite bands will be playing in Chicago: Death Cab for Cutie will be co-headlining with Franz Ferdinand. I already saw DCFC play in Chicago last October, but it was without a doubt one of the best concerts I've ever been to, so I decided to see them again. Although the group has already penetrated the mainstream, the venues they continue to play in remain extremely intimate, so you're able to get really up close with the group. We have a good group of fellow Death Cab fans going, and for those of you who haven't heard their music, I implore you to download their music... in fact, you can drop me an IM and I can send you some of their best tracks. We'll be pre-gaming at a dive bar near the Aragon Ballroom starting at 5pm, so if any locals are interested in joining, come on by. Tickets should be available from scalpers for face or below-face value around the place, so come by for some springtime music and beer.

Random comedy for of the day... I've sent this around in the past, but this shit is beyond hilarious. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog attacks pretty much everyone who is line for the premiere of Star Wars. I seriously haven't laughed this hard in a while. Also, this is a bit dated, but Cal fans pulled what has to be one of the funniest pranks on their opponents at a basketball game in a while. You can find the stories here and here.

Anyways, I'm done for today. I'll let you all know how the concert goes and how I fare tonight in week 11 of the 420poker league, which happens immediately after the DCFC concert.

Holla

Another Blog For You to Ignore

Well, I've finally bit the dust. After spending the better part of the past few years hearing all the rage about blogs and trolling some others, I decided that instead of skipping out of work to go shopping or attempting to convince people to go to the boats (explanation to come), putting in some much-needed time before June 30th (last day of work) would serve me (and more importantly, my bank account) well. Probably the best way to start my first post will be to break it out into the most prevalent topics that are encompassing my life right now: Finishing off my 3rd year at a bulge-bracket investment bank / moving to NYC, poker, and partying / life. I promise, future posts won't be so organized (or so long).

Finishing Up as an Analyst / Moving to NYC
A quick update on the haps in my life might be a best place to start, and hopefully I'll digress into more interesting topics. As most of you know, I'll be finishing off my 3rd year analyst gig at an investment bank in Chicago come June 30th, at which point I'll be leaving the city I've come to call home for the past four years. After spending the first 22 formidable years of my life in California, I moved out to the Midwest with no friends, no family, and one contact – and I leave this city with more true friends (and thankfully less enemies) than one could ever hope for. I'll be shipping out to New York City to start working for a private equity firm in Midtown, where my hours will be more manageable (likely no more than 60 hrs a week, no weekends!). Of course, to those of you who know me best, this is likely not a good thing, as it will provide me much more free time to spend boozing, partying, and generally engaging in immature behavior.

As most of you have probably heard, work for me as of late has been good. I come in and BS with the other analysts who are also all leaving June 30th, an hour for lunch, spamming my email list looking for someone to help me kill time, and finally rip-cording to hit Michigan Avenue and blow money on shit I don't need (but will fully appreciate nonetheless). Now don't get me wrong, I haven't decided to blow off work. I still get all my shit done (I'm quite efficient haha) and give it 100%. But when you're a staffer and you have a deal you need to get an analyst on, who are you going to give it to? The guy leaving in 60 days (deals and all the relevant bullshit take longer than a few months) or the guy who will still be here in a year? Precisely. In other words, work is manageable. And although I catch flack from people for the decent work schedule I have, I must remind all that I paid my dues, so quite frankly, I don't give a damn.

So after my job wraps up on June 30th, the analysts will likely be blowing it out to celebrate the end of our analyst careers and outrageous year-end bonuses that drop. And if last year is any indication, I will eat a ridiculous steak dinner while consuming from an open-bar, proceed to a local lounge where another open-bar shall await us and drink for another two hours, then finish off the night in VIP style at a club, where we will have magnums of Veuve Clicquot and liters of Goose. We will floss our non-existent status and promote our blown-out-of-proportion thoughts of self-worth, all in hopes of impressing members of the opposite sex into thinking we're someone we're really not- it’s all a lot of fun, really.

After recovering from what is likely to be a 32-hour hangover, I will be on full-blown vacation until I start my new job in NYC on approximately August 15th. Yes, you read that right- 6 weeks of pure, unadulterated, uncensored summer vacation. With summer classes, summer internships, and trips to India to meet potential marriage prospects (no joke) in the past, this will be the first time in a good 9 years where I will have literally weeks to do absolutely nothing. I intend to obviously spend some time back in CA with the fams (probably a week- after that, the constant hounding by my dad as to when I'm finding a wife will make me homicidal), 2 weeks in Chicago to enjoy the summer and wrap up my life, a couple of weeks doing something interesting (discussed below), and then moving out to NYC around August 1st to settle into my new home for the next 2 years.

It’s been a bit bittersweet to think about leaving Chicago- most of you have had to suffer through my tirades about how I don't miss CA and moving out was the best thing I ever did. I do genuinely love this city and don't think another city in the US rivals what Chicago has to offer from an all-inclusive point-of-view (nightlife, culture, cost-of-living, hospitality, cleanliness, diversity, restaurants, etc.). However, as the past few months have passed, I've began to realize just how many of my friends here are married, engaged, in serious relationships, or just plain old and tired (or act like that even if they're younger than me, right TP? haha). In other words, many of them don't go out as much anymore or prefer to stay in with their significant other. Don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely happy for them and know that they have graduated to that next stage of their life where jager shots and hangovers are NOT signs of a good night. However, for someone who is still immature (with plenty of brain cells remaining), I almost feel like a move out to the Big Apple might be exactly what I need- a new scene, new people to meet, new city to explore, and more shots to experience. And being that a few of my really good friends with precisely the same mentality as me live out there, I'm starting to get more and more excited about my move out east. I still intend to visit Chicago often, but my move has started to excite more than depress me, and I'm happy about that.

Poker
The other big thing I've been spending a lot of my time on as of recent has been improving (and cashing in on) my No-Limit Texas Hold-'Em poker game. At first, it started slowly: met a group of like-minded degenerate gamblers, played in an occasional home game, and cursed myself when I lost $20 (or thought of myself as the next Phil Ivey when I won $80). Slowly, the importance we placed on the game increased, the group of 6-8 players grew to more than 20 sharks, and soon after, we started a poker league, complete with weekly tournaments and a season-structure where every week mattered and counted towards your final standing (rules, structures, and results can be found at http://www.420poker.org). We're currently in the middle of the group's 2nd season, and out of 22 players, I'm currently tied for 6th place (top 8 players make the final table). I digress for a minute and give props to the people I play with- definitely have improved my game and made me more arrogant than I should be when I bluff with a 7-2 offsuit. But back to the story: I began to read poker books I came across (just purchased Harrington's first book on Hold-'Em), and developed a need to test my skills outside of the people we played with- how else is one supposed to compare one's growth, right? I began a feverish obsession with playing online poker, often running home after work and playing for hours at night and throughout the weekend whenever work allowed. I wouldn't call it an obsession so much as I would a "healthy interest" in the game (who am I kidding, I know). After winning and losing over $1,500 in a matter of 5 days (in a very suspicious manner nevertheless), I decided to stop playing online and begin live play with other people.

Like I said, many others in our league were also forging ahead on the same path as me, and we slowly began to realize that the riverboat casinos in Gary, IN (about 30 minutes away) would provide the perfect outlet to test our newfound theories regarding our poker prowess. For those of you who understand the game, we were playing no limit $2/$5 blinds, $200 max buy-in at a table for 10 people. For those of you who don't, just understand that you were allowed to bring a maximum of $200 to start, but were allowed to play with as much as you won (i.e. if you had $1,000 in front of you, you're free to play it). Anyways, so in the past 6-8 weeks or so, a group of us have been going with regularity to sit down and gamble with sharks, fish (people who don't know what they're doing), and regular folk who play to kill time. And let me tell you, it's been one hell of a ride. I've lost count how many times I've gone, but I've pulled in a cash profit of over $2,500 and have yet to lose once. Granted, poker is also subject to the law of averages, and it's only a matter of time before I hit a bad streak, so I won't be too surprised when I do lose. But when an average of 75% of the group we roll with to the boats win an average of over $200 in profit, something tells me we may not be so bad at the game. It's a ridiculous rush to put over $1,000 in Benjamins in your wallet and roll out of the casino in only about 4 hours worth of time. We're planning to go again to the boats a couple times this week- I'll let you all know how many hundo's I scoop up haha.

This gets me to the interesting part of my vacation that I mentioned above. Call me crazy, call me a retard, but we're doing it- a group of us from the poker league have decided to head out to Vegas during the World Series of Poker and play poker full-time for 10 days. Yes, that's right- we intend to spend 10 days in Vegas at the height of the WSOP and play poker as if it's our full-time job. We may go out a night or two when the winning is good, but for all intents and purposes, this is not a vacation- this is a business trip. I will be the first to admit, I will never quit my job to make this a career (my parents would likely gouge out my eyes if I even considered it anyways), but when I spent a weekend in Vegas a few weeks ago and generated a $1,000 profit (I could have conceivably taken the tables for over $3,000 in profit had I not pissed away a lot of it playing drunk, tired and stupid), something tells me that I at least owe it to my curiousity to see how I would fare if I played the game seriously for a prolonged period of time. We haven't decided if any of us will actually enter any of WSOP tournament events, but we fully intend to play cash games for 12-14 hours a day (if not more). I'll keep you all updated as our plans progress.

Partying / Life
Other than all the shit mentioned up top, I've been trying to enjoy the last few months I have left here in the Windy City. Like I said, although the number people in our group has decreased, I still make it a point to go out and enjoy life as often as possible. In future postings, I'll try to dictate my partying nights out with as much detail as I can (obviously details that may get me in trouble will only be verbally relayed). I must offer some details however of my recent whirlwind US tour that's still in progress. None of this was very planned , but it has all worked out well thus far (to the utter disgust of my fellow cubemates who toil away until 3am). Around the middle of March, I was still interviewing for my new job and was shacking up with my good buddy Parth (a fellow booze-hound and who shall me my guiding light in NYC) . As we discussed my potential move, he discussed his intentions to party in Miami the weekend of March 24-26 (details behind such a vacation will be kept secret to protect the whipped).

Without much arm-twisting, I was convinced to book a ticket to party with him in South Beach during the height of the Winter Music Conference AND the tail-end of Spring Break with another degenerate known as Alan (yes, he is Indian, and yes, that is his real name), and our friend Ami. I will have to write about this trip at another time, but suffice to say, Indian dudes in Miami on a peak weekend are essentially dead to any bouncer. In any case, after spending a ridiculously relaxing (and expensive) weekend in Miami, I toiled through a mundane week of work before the wheels were truly ready to come off. From March 31 until April 9th, I was to be out of the office and on vacation (yes, there is a running theme to the last few months of my life, I know). Beginning with the first weekend of March 31-April 2, I spent it celebrating my buddy Jay's transition from bachelorhood to "one-gina" hood in Austin, TX. For those of you who have never been there, let me tell you, its insanity. I don't know how any of those people got any studying done, because come Friday and Saturday night, the infamous 6th Street in Austin turns into a mini-Mardi Gras, complete with blocked streets and drunken tomfoolery in the streets.. to reiterate, on a WEEKLY basis. Without going into too many details, I dropped the ball with quite possibly the hottest white girl ever(who approached me nonetheless), puked ON the bar, and assaulted two female friends of ours (sorry again haha). Needless to say, a blow-out weekend and I WILL be back. The middle part of the week (4/3-4/6) was spent visiting the fams in the Bay Area, which consisted of lectures regarding marriage, the need to stop wasting money on frivilous expenditures, and other topics they deemed necessary (which I chose to tune out). After surviving the onslaught, I headed out to Vegas to celebrate my buddy Sachin's bachelor party (poker details above came from this trip). Imagine if you can: almost 30 dudes (with a handful of token non-indos) drinking, gambling, and partaking in other generally unspeakable behavior for 4 days and 3 nights. I have never had that much fun (and gotten such little sleep) in a while. In a nutshell, the trip consisted of beating Sachin senseless (who eventually suffered a ribcage muscle tear in the process), overtaking Body English with a 3-to-1 girl-to-guy ratio in the VIP area for us, and of course, poker. Details, of course, will be limited to protect the guilty.

So of course, one would think I would be all traveled (and partied) out, but alas, this is not the case. After spending this past weekend relaxing in Chicago (if you call three nights of boozing a slower pace), this upcoming weekend (4/21-4/23) will see me in the nation's capital visiting friends (and partying). The following weekend (4/28-4/30) will find me in Detroit for my friend Poopie's (i.e. Rupa's) graduation party (and partying), and the weekend after that (5/5-5/7) will be spent in Boston for Jay's wedding (and ridiculous amounts of partying). Future trips planned include a trip to NYC to find an apartment, more Vegas, more CA, and god only knows more of what else.

Conclusion
Clearly, today has been an extremely slow day at work (hence the reason I decide to start this blog). Hopefully, this diary gives all a little more insight into my helter-skelter life (actually, its not that cool, but I just wanted to use helter-skelter in a sentence), and at the very worst, provides you another website to waste time on while you toil away at your job wherever that may be. Please feel free to leave comments, throughts, insults, anything, just so I know people are reading- otherwise, this is a waste of my time that I can likely spend shopping or gambling instead.

Holla!